Hungry

I am clueless when it comes to adult things.

I have friends who use their credit cards at will, always seem to know where to go to place an order (even in a new restaurant) and have the money to pick up the check.

These folks are savvy in the ways of the adult.
I must not have been paying attention when these skills were taught.

I find myself simply not ordering anything when we go out because I haven't checked to see if they take a debit card, can't quite recall how much money is in the account or don't want to order something bizarre like a chicken club sandwich with curly fries and salsa when everyone else opts for a vodka martini with an onion. Nothing like needing a napkin to wipe your chin when everyone else is a sipping sophisticate.

I rarely even eat while at parties with buffets. I can't seem to balance the plate/fork/napkin animal while carrying on animated conversation. Believe me, I've tried - someone usually ends up with sauce on their jacket or a close encounter with a cocktail toothpick. Or I am the unfortunate who decides to try the seaweed wrap and ends up with large green strings in my front teeth. These, of course, I discover upon returning home.

And so, I go to gatherings with large outlays of food and drink and I come home hungry. I end up making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the privacy of my own home and rinsing the jelly off my face while in my pajamas. The humiliation just seems easier that way.